Tournament

Signing Andy Goddamn Dalton is a very successful bears shift always

I probably asked for it. I had the temperament to question what is meant by Russell Wilson. I clearly argued over the curtains at the Spahn Ranch.

Andy Damned Dalton. Is there a more serious step? Especially after basically getting the same last offseason in NIck Foles? Except this one doesn’t even have a five-game heater that ended in glory to its name? Andy Dalton. Without A. J. Green to cover all the things he can’t do. This basically means: “anything but lift AJ Green.”

It’s really confusing, or at least it would be for anyone who hasn’t been mentally confused his entire life as a Bears Fan, that in a Season where we think Ryan Pace and Head coach Matt Nagy fought for their job, they’re going to put it all on Andy Dalton. I know, when I put a large amount of money on the track, that I always like to put everything on every horse that takes shit last. Infallible method that.

So that means that these two Clowns won’t be fired after this year, no matter what, or that they really think Dalton is a solution, or that they have an even more hostile response that will certainly make half the Nation pet (admittedly, not quite the challenge that sounds first). Perhaps in whatever pretzel logic goes for thoughts forward to 1920 Football Drive, you think you signed Mike Glennon once, then immediately designed Mitch Trubisky without saying Glennon, and that led to an 11-5 Season a year and a half after, it could work again. This cavalcade Of offal could still work very well for Russell Wilson, spending some 6 60 million on quarterbacks while my dog plays Left Tackle (and she can’t anchor at all).

Dalton’s signing is an admission that they don’t have a Plan this Season, so they’re going to throw the box on the street for a Season, which is fair enough is a very good solution to almost every problem we have. This is the Scoop-and-Toss of QB plans. The bears haven’t sucked enough to get into the top QBs in the draft, don’t have the mobile assets to acquire Wilson or Watson, and have nothing left but Khalil Mack, cigarette butts and Dorito Dust. So you’re just going to plug this medicine in and hope it will be different next year, except that everyone will be older.

This is the perfect example of an Organization that never had a Plan. It remains to hope that the guy below you has one, while this person hopes that the guy above you has one, or they just look at an empty wall. The owners are the boring cousins of the Bluths. The GM tells everyone that he met Drew Brees once. Your coach plays the football version of a beautiful mind before hiring John Nash. This is a group that actually said at its post-season press conference: “Well, if you judge us by measures other than gains and losses.”THERE are NO OTHER Measures. My friends and I do not gather for beer and remember the time…shit, I don’t even know. How did you talk to the media?

This is the basic franchise of the entire League. This is not an expansion makeup like Houston or Cleveland. This is not a strangely placed billionaire toy like Jacksonville. This is the team that started the whole League. If it were the NBA, the McCakseys would have been removed and shot years ago. The McCaskeys belong to the NHL, where they can talk about Tradition and heritage, whatever they want, and no one will notice or care.

The NFL is the only sport in which a player lets every Fan know that he has a hold and a Runoff of himself for four months. The bears signed Dalton, put him on the jerk, and asked him not to touch anything. There will be a parallel park team to watch 16 games.

And you know the lowest? What do bear fans like me really complain about today? It’s that we know it was the only step for the bears. You are in a place where it makes the most sense. They never got the gas for Wilson and would have to sell the list and the project to get it. They were never attractive enough to Watson. They weren’t even attractive enough for Carson Wentz. They weren’t bad enough to get the best QBs in the draft. They are literally nowhere. This ensures that you can not completely fuck about the future. It was their only game. They couldn’t do anything different. We don’t yell at Dalton. We scream at the rain that brought him here.

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